Activities at Night with your precious ones

Sorry for being quiet for so long, this post is way overdue. It’s meant to be for the holidays (They started 1.5 weeks ago, and there are only 5 days left, hopefully there's still time).

The past 2 weeks have been crazy with Hillsongs Kids Easter (I helped out with the setting up on Saturday, 3 services on Sunday, followed by the packing up), helping a friend pack and move, going to the library at UQ to get more textbooks for my own professional development, performing roving children’s magic at Superhero Saturday for Starlight Children’s Foundation at Doomben Racecourse (support them at http://www.starlight.org), followed by performing roving magic at a camp organized by CanTeen (support them at https://www.canteen.org.au), and lastly the Queensland Society of Magicians meeting.

I especially love performing for VWOs as that was how I got started in performing children’s magic shows (In a past life before magic, way back in Singapore, I volunteered with people with intellectual disabilities.)

Back to the post, it seems to me that everything is more fun at night. Maybe it is because the weather is cooler, and the darkness adds a layer of mystery. Another reason, for me at least, is that after a long day, it is the time to relax. It is good that night also comes earlier as the sun is setting sooner due to the change in season.

This post is about night-time activities that do not require a lot of effort.

Here are some fun-filled activities that are just the most fun, require the least amount of preparation and energy, and can be done immediately (hopefully just before the end of the School Holidays).

1)   Red Light, Green Light (Flashlight Edition/Addition)

This game is played similarly to (http://childhood101.com/2015/01/games-for-kids-red-light-green-light/) but instead of using your eyes to catch the moving child, you use your flashlight. In case you are not familiar with the game, here’s how you play it:      

• You need 2 (1 to be the traffic light) or more players (the more the merrier)
• The traffic light stands around 5 to 10m away from the rest of the players.
• When the traffic light says “green light”, the rest of the players move towards it.
• When the traffic light says “red light”, they have to stop moving. The traffic light uses the flashlight to catch any moving players.
•  For added fun, the traffic light can say “yellow light”, and the rest of the players can move in slow motion.
• The round ends once any of the rest of the players touches the traffic light. The player who does becomes the next traffic light.

 2) Flashlight Scavenger/Treasure Hunt

This is similar to the normal scavenger hunt, but played in dimmed lighting or in the dark.

•      Gather a couple of toys/items in the house.
•       Make a list of them.
•       Hide them in your living room or in your yard.
•       Hand the list to your child/children.
•       Equip them with a flashlight.
•       Have fun.

3) Possum Spotting Walks

One thing I really love about being in Brisbane is spotting and watching the possums. They are nocturnal, so you can only spot them at night. Some people consider possums pests, but I think these gentle and extremely adorable creatures are misunderstood. Possums are not aggressive; they are in fact shy. You can often spot them on fences, walking on tree branches, walking on the electric wires that dangle from post to posts.

Take a slow walk after dinner with your little ones and try and see if you can spot one. If you do, talk to your little ones about them, and also about being careful not to scare the possums.

4) Star-Gazing

Another thing I love about Brisbane is that you can still see the stars. When I was growing up in Singapore, we could still see the stars above. However, with the insane rate of urbanization, this is no longer possible as Singapore is lit throughout the night.

Teach your child how to identify the Southern Cross and Orion’s Belt. Explore the night sky with them while lying in your yard. Have fun with a telescope or a pair of binoculars.

You can find more information on http://www.abc.net.au/science/starhunt/, or you can try downloading an app for planets or stargazing on your iphone or android where you just point your phone at the stars.

5) Sofa Fort/ Indoor Camping

This is my personal favourite after a really long and tiring day when you just want to relax with your little ones. All you need are cushions and blankets. Place a blanket in between your sofa and a chair and voila you have a tent. Build it up with more blankets in between chairs and the sofa, and fill it with cushions and now you have a fort.

Bring some story books, a flashlight, and some toys in. You can even watch a movie under the fort. Let your child lead and you’ll have fun.

Talking to Children (Part 2)

In my children’s magic shows and in my clinics, I focus on actively listening to children. In my first post, I wrote about the OWL strategy that I use to follow children’s leads. The OWL strategy helps create a ‘safe’ environment for the child to initiate. After the child has initiated conversation with you, it is your turn to respond.

Now that the ball is on your court, you have to respond in a way such that the conversation will keep going. In my magic shows, I have to make sure that the conversation keeps going or else, the children will lose interest. Thank God that in my training as a speech therapist, I am taught how to keep a conversation going with children  (Transferable skills to Children’s Magic Shows).

I comment on what the child/children are saying. Commenting helps show the child/children that you are interested in what he/she/they are saying or showing you. When you comment, you are still following the child’s lead, and you build on the topic. It is easier for a child to continue talking about a topic he/she is interested in. When children initiate, I respond immediately to them with warmth and enthusiasm. It also helps that I am quite animated.

Here’s an example of how I use comments in my shows:

(When the green balls appear in the child’s hands)

Child	Wow! It’s in my hands.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	Wow! The green balls jumped to your hands.
Child	How did it jump there?
Sam Sam the Magic Man	I don’t know. What do you think?
Child	It’s magic. You are magic.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	You did the magic. You are magic.

Here’s another example from my volunteer work at the hospital:

(When the child and I were playing video games)

Child	Jump on the monster.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	Ok. The monster’s flattened.
Child	Flat as a pancake.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	We’ll flatten all the monsters.
Child	Let’s flatten all the monsters. We can do it together. Jump! Jump! jump!
Sam Sam the Magic Man	Jump! Jump! Jump!

Comments are really powerful to keep a conversation going. It does not need to be complicated. It does not need to be long. In fact, I try my best to keep it brief and to the point. This makes it easier for children to understand, and to think of their response.

Comments do need to be specific to the child’s topic. I’m sure some of us have been in conversations when the other party gives vague responses or changes the topic suddenly. I’m sure that at those times, we felt that the other party was insincere or not interested in us. Similarly, children will feel the same. I make sure that children always feel that I am interested in what they say. I do this by OWLing (see previous post on “Talking to Children”) and replying according to the child’s topic and interest.

One way we often reply children is with questions. Questions are a little trickier to use. Sometimes, when I meet someone new, they ask me a lot of questions: “What are you working as?”, “What do you do as a children’s magician?”, “How do you learn magic?”, “Can you even earn money as a children’s magician?”. While I am able to answer them (because people tend to ask the same questions), it is a lot of pressure on me to keep the conversation going by ‘answering’ correctly. Similarly, questions can put a lot of pressure on children to ‘answer’ them correctly. This pressure replaces the child’s interest and hence stops the conversation. It is especially so when we use “testing” questions (that tests the child’s knowledge rather than continues the conversation): “What colour is it?”, “What letter does it start with?” ,“How do you spell it?”… One way around this problem is by turning questions into comments by filling in the answers to the questions we originally wanted to ask.

For example, while volunteering at the children’s hospital:

(When a young child shows me a picture)

Child	This is for you. It’s a whale.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	(Instead of “How big is it?”, I say) It is a really big whale.
Child	I like whales.
Sam Sam the Magic Man	(Instead of “Where do whales live?”, I say) Whales swim in the sea.
Child	I like swimming, and I like whales because they swim in the sea.

I enjoy commenting on a child’s interest as children then elaborate on their interests and share with me the story they have to tell. Try to use comments more, and turn questions into a comment. Speaking of comments (great segue), leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee:

Just wanted to share this TED talk, as I found it really interesting and useful.

Here are the points she covered.

1. Don’t Multitask- Do not think about something else you would rather do, or be on your mobile...
2. Don’t Pontificate - enter every conversation thinking that you have something to learn (set aside your personal opinion)
3. Use Open-ended questions -"What was that like?" "How does that feel?"
4. Go with the flow - Keep in the moment, if you thought of something there and then, say it out there and then. If you wait, then it's too late. 
5. If you don’t know, say you don’t know.
6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs- it’s not the same, it’s never the same. All experiences are individual. It’s not about you.
7. Try not to repeat yourself. It’s condescending and boring.
8. Stay out of the weeds - forget the details, leave them out. The detail's are not as interesting as you as a person.
9. Listen with the intend to understand rather than the intend to response.
10. Be brief

I find that these same points will help me in my children's magic shows and whenever I talk to children. By keeping the focus on children and by OWLing, I believe that the children will find that I am interested in what they are saying. This is especially when I am performing magic to children as I am not just showing them a magic trick but am having a conversation with children

Bag of Mystery

As a children’s magician, I’ve noticed that children are always curious about what I have in my magic bag. I also noticed that same interest whenever I bring out a prop that looks like a bag. It doesn’t matter whether the bag is used in the magic trick, children are always interested in “what’s in the bag”?

A bag hides the items that are contained in them, and hence children (and adults) are naturally curious (I always wonder and try to sneak a peek at what’s in my girlfriend’s handbag). The bag helps to hold the interest of children. It can also help both the adult and child share their focus and interest when you remove one item at a time from it.

Here are some game ideas using a bag (any bags around the house that can hide an object) and items around the house:

(1) What’s in the bag? (Guessing game)

a.     Fill a bag up with several items/ toys.

b.     Take turns grabbing an item in the bag (you can take the item out and place it in a separate bag so that it is easier for your child to concentrate if needed)

c.      Describe the item

                                               i.     what is it shaped like,

                                              ii.     what colour is it,

                                            iii.     who uses it/ what does it do

                                            iv.     where is it found

                                              v.     what type of group does it belong to,

                                            vi.     how do you use it, what can you do with it

                                           vii.     when would you use it,

                                         viii.     why would you use it…

d.     The player who successfully guesses it keeps the item as a point he has won. *note, it is more important that your child tries different ways of describing an item.

e.     Alternative rule: Instead of describing it for another person, you can also reach into the bag, and try to guess the object through touch alone.

(2) Story Bags (role-playing game)

a.     Together with your child, come up with some stories you both enjoy. Choose one of the stories.

b.     Find objects that are related to the chosen story.

c.      Grab an item from the bag one at a time, and

d.     Retell and re-enact the chosen story.

e.     Feel free to expand and create your plots with the chosen story as a background.

(3) Bag of Tools (problem-solving game)

a.     Together with you child, come up with some ideas about imagined situations, i.e. “you are stuck on an island and you need to build a raft”, “you locked yourself in and you need to open the door”, “you need to bake a cake but have no utensils”

b.     Find objects that you can use as a “tool” to help you with your goal (there are no right or wrong answers, just different ideas to explore).

c.      Take one item out of the bag at a time

d.     Discuss how you can use that item to help you in your situation.

e.     Act it out.

There are many more games or activities we can do with bags. Let me know in the comments below of any, and if this games have been useful. Have fun!